I have exactly one week to hear back from Newsday and The Los Angeles Times before I step back and force myself to resign from caring.

That doesn’t even mean they will have made their decision in that time. The e-mail from both companies said late January/EARLY February, so technically, in my mind, that means they could wait until the end of the first week in February to let applicants know.

(I’ve analyzed this a bit.)

It’s the LA Times and Newsday — while I subconsciously feel like I know I wasn’t even chosen as a finalist, I’ve kept my conscious mind very optimistic. Why wouldn’t they choose me, pah pah! And why would I ever aim lower — what does that even mean?

If I don’t hear back from either, I’ll give NPR another shot, and apply for OPB’s summer internship. I have to validate myself by filling that hole of time in which I won’t be going to school but may not have many other opportunities. I want to fill every gap with experience and clips. I want my resume to be this beefy, sweaty, heavy piece of fine print business paper that’s so luscious and juicy to behold you’ll want to slip it into a folder and file it in the safest and most convenient of places. Or frame it!

In the meantime, once I have my degree in hand I’ll keep my eye on The Oregonian’s one-year internship in a predatory manner — the second one opens up, I’ll be sliding that thick manila envelope in the mail once again.